A Different Kind of Saturday

Normally, a typical Saturday in our house consists of homework and cleaning, and if we're lucky enough for Pete to have the day off, it usually means a not-so-relaxing day of shopping and running errands and eating out somewhere.  Yesterday, however, my boys and I did something a little different, and it was great.  Due to the fact that all three of us have been inflicted by a fabulous cold virus, plus the fact that the heat outside has seriously reached the point of melting my very soul, we decided to spend the entire day inside at home, but NOT be lazy couch potatoes. 

We technically started Friday night by getting a head start on fall by making these recycled-book pumpkins while watching Jurassic Park on late-night TV.  This is how they turned out:

I like em, but not sure what to do with them yet.

We started Saturday morning with cinnamon rolls out of the oven.  We pretty much never eat breakfast altogether at home, so this was pretty awesome.

Then we decided to introduce Ryan to some more classic Disney movies; this time we went with Robin Hood.

"Oh he's so handsome, just like his reward posters."

After the movie, the boys played cars on the floor and I did some cleaning and vacuuming.  Then we began working on this recipe for brownie batter cupcakes that I have been drooling over for a while. After we got the brownie batter in the freezer, we made some yummy lunch and relaxed with a couple episodes of Friday Night Lights while Ryan napped.

I really look for any excuse to post pictures of Taylor Kitcsh.

 In the midst of the high school football drama, I also spent about ten minutes re-vamping my Halloween wreath for this year. I think I still need to add a crow or bat or something in the middle, but here it is so far:

waiting anxiously for labor day to be hung...

We spent the evening in the kitchen making fabulous little lasagnas for dinner and finishing the cupcakes (see note below).

source

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After Bug went to bed, the hubby and I watched a movie on Netflix (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil - can anyone tell me what the point of that film was??) and snuggled on the couch.

It was a much-needed stress-free day out of the heat and I loved every minute of it.  I am so grateful for my sweet little family and the time I get to spend with them.  Days like yesterday allow me to take the time to think of how blessed I am, and how sometimes being at home is better than being anywhere else. <3

Note: If you ever plan on making those cupcakes, prepare yourself for a serious sugar and chocolate coma. They should be called "Death by Cake".  Yes they were delicious, but so rich you can barely enjoy it. Prepare yourself.

Ryan's World

I have a confession.
My 4 year old has an iPhone.
(Don't blame me, blame my husband who has an obsession with apple products that I'll never understand.)
But seriously, it's not really how it sounds.  See, Pete has a first generation iPhone that he had been using for years before we finally had the money to get him the iPhone 4 when we were on our honeymoon. So we now have the old phone that still functions as an ipod with games and wifi.  So it kind of became Ryan's phone, because he can play preschool games on it and pretend to text and call people (and trust me, if he knows you by name, he has had some kind of pretend phone conversation with you).

This morning I wanted to blog about our day yesterday, and grabbed the old phone to take a photo of the pumpkins I made.  This is when I joyfully discovered that my son has also been using the camera on the phone. I found at least 30 pictures that had been taken who-knows-when by the little man. I was delighted by the randomness of what a 4-year-old views as important enough to take photos of.  It was such a cute little perspective of the world according to Ryan.

Here are some of my favorites:

"The Art of Oatmeal"

"Culinary Delight"

"Original Art in Chalk"

"Mom's Blanket"

"The Climb"

"My World in a Blur"

"Blast Off to the Moon"

 (This one is my favorite, it's actually the lamp hanging from his ceiling)

My baby is so talented (of course I may be biased).  I love these pictures.  For all you parents out there, I highly recommend giving your little one access to a camera. It is delightful to see the world the way they see it for a little while. :)

The Thing That Should Not Be

My summer is officially over and I go back for one last semester of classes at ASU on Monday.  I spent some time reading through my syllabi for all my classes, and was slapped in the face with reality while reading the 4,000 word course description of my capstone history course: The U.S. Constitution Pro-Seminar. Allow me to share a piece of the endless rambling:

"As an HST 498: Pro-Seminar, the course of study described here represents a capstone experience for undergraduate majors or minors in History at Arizona State University.  A required, advanced course, the semester’s study offers students the opportunity to demonstrate their competence at conceptualizing, constructing, and completing a piece of writing based on primary sources and publishable as an article or a research note in a scholarly historical journal or as a chapter or essay in a scholarly anthology or collection."

ICK.

So yeah, I am a pretty good writer and it comes very naturally for me, and I posses a fabulous ability to BS my way through pretty much anything and get a good grade...BUT...I have been stuck in historical-inquiry-world for 4.5 years and I am SO.OVER.IT.

The silver lining?  I have a love affair with early American history and the US Constitution. So at least there's that.  

When this all over, I'm going to Disneyland.

A Decade.

 A decade seems like such a substantial amount of time. Children turn into teenagers, teenagers turn into adults and parents, fashion completely evolves, significant anniversaries are celebrated, and people continue to ask, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"  Apparently, a decade is important.

A decade has now passed since I lost my mother.  Ten years ago today, she left this earth and began a new life with her Heavenly Father, her Savior, her mother, her ancestors, and maybe even Elvis.

I spent some time today reading my journal entries from that time, and I cried...not really for the loss of my mother, but for the heartbroken girl who wrote them.  That girl was only fifteen, and the ability to see herself in ten years was non-existent.  Ten years felt like a lifetime away, and an impossible journey to make without a mother or father.  She wrote of being scared that she would never be able to find the same kind of joy she once knew without her mother's presence, and how she did not know how to exist in a world where her mother did not.  

A decade has gone by, and I am no longer that girl. With the help of amazing brothers, true friends and supportive grandparents, I have found joy, independence, love and strength.  I have learned how to exist in a world where my mother does not, because there is no other way.  I am proud to be her daughter, and blessed because she taught me how to survive.  In the past decade I have experienced incredible challenges and amazing blessings, and I know she never missed a moment of it.

I miss her more than words can ever say.  And I don't think my heart will ever stop hurting, no matter how many more decades come and go.  But I can see myself ten years from now, being the woman she raised me to be, and that is enough.

"Wishing you were somehow here again."

Mary Raelene Metcalf

11-1-49 - 8-17-01

Also, click here. Sometimes music is just better than words.

What's that got to do with the price of eggs??

There has been extremely little happening lately, thus my lack of posting anything interesting.  As my summer break is very near to being over, these are the things that have been filling up my free time:

* cleaning
* ignoring the need to do laundry
* eating Taco Bell or Chipotle with Brittany
* stressing, strategizing, and staring at the continuous issues I keep facing in regard to my fall class schedule (yeah, classes start monday and I still haven't figured it out)
* watching Netflix with my hubby
* planning different scenarios for how Pete and I will make it through the many changes headed our way in the next few months
* trying to get Ryan interested in writing any letters other than A and B
* researching and stressing about grad school and what I'm going to do with my life

In addition to all that amazing stuff, I have also been spending some more time reading some new blogs about motherhood, marriage, etc...yet it seems I just keep getting annoyed by everything I read, which inspires a 10 minute rant to my husband, and the weird need to continue to read more aggravating posts.  For no real reason, I feel the need to list the things that are bugging me:

* Women who preach that stay-at-home-mothers are better mothers than those who work outside the home. You piss me off.
* All the things that point out why I really should be a teacher.
* All the things that point out why I really should do something other than teaching.
* Mothers who are so "organic" and "pure" that they won't even let their children play with toys that have a Disney character on them. I'm sure you had an Ariel Barbie when you were little and you grew up just fine. Get over yourself.
* Pregnancy blogs that ignore the fact that some women have horrible and difficult pregnancies/deliveries, or try to make me feel guilty for talking about it.
* Teacher certification INSANITY required by different states.

So what's all this got to do with the price of eggs?  Nothing.  But Andrea reminded me of that quote from While You Were Seeping the other day, and I've had the entire scene stuck in my head since then. 

Summary:  I need to get back to school so I will have less time to be annoyed by people.

Love & Other Drugs

The hubby and I recently watched this movie.  It was cute and funny and made me smile.  But the reason I'm writing about it is because it's one of those movies that just totally hit home for Pete and I.  There were so many similarities with how he and I fell in love, and the obstacles we faced (minus the Parkinsons and Viagra of course).  Unless you know us well enough, you may not fully understand...but trust me, these quotes are awesome...

"Because this isn't about connection for you. This isn't even about sex for you. This is about finding an hour or two of relief from the pain of being you. And that's fine with me, see, because all I want is the exact same thing."

"I have *never* cared about anybody or anything in my entire life. And the thing is, everybody just kind of accepted that. Like, "That's just Jamie." And then you!... Jesus. *You*. You. You didn't see me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough. Until I met you. And then you made me believe it, too. So, uh... unfortunately... I need you. And you need me."

"Let's just say in some alternate universe, there's a couple just like us, okay? Only she's healthy and he's perfect. And their world is about how much they're going to spend on vacation or who's in a bad mood that day, or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady. I don't want to be those people. I want us. You. This."

That is all. <3

Summer Days, Driftin' Away...

I haven't written in a few weeks, so I think it's time to play summer catch-up for anyone interested (or just for me, since I don't write in a journal anymore).  So, this is what the boys and I have been up to this summer...

*  Pete and I went to the most adorable little seaside town called Yachats, OR, for my twinsie's beautiful wedding.  We had an unforgettable little weekend.  For more pics, go here.

So much Love & Happiness

*  Ryan went camping with Uncle Nathan & Auntie YaYa, and didn't stop talking about it for a good two weeks.
*  I finally uploaded honeymoon photos! 
*  Ryan and I are reading the original Winnie the Pooh.  Pooh just fell from the sky after Christopher Robin shot his balloon (he was pretending to be a rain cloud to scare the bees).
* We watched the series finale of Friday Night Lights, and I cried like a baby.

I'm posting this photo simply because Coach & Riggins look crazy hot.

*  I finished my FINAL term of summer school with a 4.0. :)
* We have watched the entire series of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.

*  I spent an evening in the ER with yet another ovarian cyst. More about that to come.
*  Ryan is learning to write letters of the alphabet all on his own.  He amazes me with how easily he learns on his own, sometimes even better than when I sit down and try to teach him. 


That's about it.  Only two weeks left before I begin my final semester of undergrad classes. I wish I could say I am excited...but I'm not. I really don't want this summer to be over yet...

Can't we just go back here?

 

The Whirlwind of Before

One of my very best friends is getting married in 4 days!  And as she is currently spinning in the whirlwind of the last few days before the wedding, it has brought back memories of 2 short months ago when Pete and I were in that fabulous and horrible spin ourselves. 
So I figured I would post some pictures that have been sitting on our camera for the past 8 weeks...

My adorable boys getting ready to hit the road in our U-Haul

Roadtrip!

SO excited to be in Vegas!!!

 

 

 

Marriage License!

Paris!

Bachelor & Bachelorette Night!

The first cheeseburger I had eaten in 3 months. YUM.

The Bug watching fountains on Dad's shoulders

Our last photo before our Wedding Day <3

I hope Andrea & Nico are enjoying (or at least not totally hating) their whirlwind of before :)

Nesting

Newlywed wives are supposed to go through a nesting phase, right?  It kind of comes with the territory of wedding gifts and wedding photos that need to be framed.  Maybe it's about being a "good wife"...or maybe it's about needing to do ANYTHING to overcome the boredom of no longer planning the wedding.  In my case, it was the latter.

Adjusting to life post-wedding and honeymoon has been difficult at times. When you spend so long looking forward to one day followed by one fabulous trip, and then suddenly it's all over and you're back to real life...it can be challenging trying to not feel a bit blue.  My plan of action?  Nest.

...Well, let's backtrack a bit first.  After we got home from Vegas, our apartment became a disaster zone. There should have been yellow tape all around it.

Did I clean it?  No.  Instead I used some wedding gift money and bought a new dining room table.

And made my new husband put it together...

You need a hard hat in here.

And then I decided to paint.

Those two walls used to be white.

Then we opened all our wonderful wedding gifts, did some shopping with gift money, and I went to work trying to ignore summer school.  Here is the result of the living and dining room:

We also got some gifts for the bedroom, but we I'm not quite done with it yet, so stay tuned.

Thank you everyone for the gifts that have allowed us to make our home a bit more homey, and distracted me from homework and post-wedding blues. You all rock. :)  And your thank you notes will be arriving soon, I promise.

My Karma Rant.

Sometimes, I just really do not understand how karma works. 
Especially when it comes to my amazing husband. 

Pete is literally a genius (with an IQ to prove it), he works incredibly hard, and he is somehow good at everything he attempts to do (which is why he irritated the hell out of me when we first met, and how he earned the nickname Superman).  He has had to work in several different fields doing many different things in order to support himself over the past 10 years, and he has excelled at everything he has done.  Yet he has continually gotten screwed over by almost every employer he has ever had.  And today has been no different.  Only three days ago he and I were trying to choose between two different job opportunities that had been placed in front of him, opportunities that he so greatly deserved...and today, both opportunities fell through the cracks. 
I know that in this economy he is lucky to even have a job, and we are very grateful for that, especially given the fact that he gave up a very good job in IL to be with me and Ryan in AZ.  But sometimes it just breaks my heart to see how hard he works and how badly he ends up being treated.  Have I mentioned that in the company he works for right now, he is literally ranked #1 of all the employees in his customer service and sales stats??  Yeah, number 1.  Yet he has gotten absolutely nothing for it.  I don't understand it.

Where is karma?  My husband is the nicest guy out there. He has gotten stabbed in the back and ignored by friends he would still take a bullet for.  He helps anyone who asks for it.  He seriously has no enemies. He treats everyone with respect - whether they deserve it or not.  Yet karma has never been on his side.  He has never been given a break, never had a chance fall in his lap, and has never been recognized for what he does.  He has sacrificed so much to be an incredible father to a child that will never legally be his, no matter how hard he tries.  And at the end of the day, you'll never hear him complain about any of it.

But that doesn't mean I won't. I am angry today. I am disappointed in karma - or the belief that hard work and doing the right things pays off.  Unfortunately, it seems that nice guys really do finish last, and it's unfair.

That is my rant.

I love you, Joey. You will always be my Superman.

NKOTBSB.

On Thursday night, the fabulous Brittany and I went through a time warp.

 Oh yes, that would be the concert combining New Kids on the Block and our #1 teenage loves, the Backstreet Boys. Hello 1999 (or 1989 for the other half of the women there)!

We made kick-ass shirts...

I was uber excited waiting for her to pick me up...

Gave my sweetie some lovin to make him feel better about another man's name being on my chest...

Oh yes.

A couple hours later, Britt and I were transformed back into love-struck 14-year-olds.

(Yes that is us in 1999, flanked by BSB merchandise)

It was so awesome getting to see them live again. BSB was a huge part of my adolesence, and listening to their music takes me back to a time that I miss very much.  The height of their popularity (and our love for them) was in 1999-2000 - the last year I had before high school, before my first heartbreak, before my mother and grandmother died.  It was a time of innocence and sweetness. And we got to feel it all again for a few hours.

Brian, A.J., Nick & Howie

Their awesome sing-off finale with NKOTB

On the way home we were nostalgic and even a bit sad remembering a time when life was so simple. 

But it makes us happy that these guys are still around to remind us. <3

"Every time we're down, you can make it right, and that makes you Larger than Life..."  

- BSB Millenium

Today and every day

Almost five weeks have passed since our wedding.  

Over 2000 pictures have been sorted through, about 400 of which have finally all been posted, and Pete and I have watched our ceremony video just a few too many times.  

It is now all beginning to fade into a distant memory.

So I decided to make a little video to capture our perfect day in time, and to share it with those who were unable to be there (without having to sort through a 35 minute video and 2000 photos).

 

I present to you, May 22, 2011.

Be warned: You will probably need tissues.

 

Next up, Honeymoon pictures!!! 

And even shorter hair. :)

But the tigers come at night

It is almost 3 AM and I cannot sleep. The house is silent, and has been for hours, and I am left alone with my thoughts.

 And still I dream she'll come to me, and we can live the years together.

But there are dreams that cannot be and there are storms we cannot weather.

 

No other words need to be said.

I miss you, Mother.

He Didn't Have to Be

Happy Fathers Day to all you awesome daddies out there.

And specifically, to my amazing Husband, and to my big brother Nathan, and even to my sweet Grandpa, these song lyrics were written for rare men like you, who did not have to be fathers to someone else's child...but chose to anyway.

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run 

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes 

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

                     -Brad Paisley


I love you each so much for being the kind of men that step up to the responsibilities that so many others have neglected.  Happy Fathers Day <3

An Open Thank You Note from the Newlyweds

We did it. 

After 2 years of dating and a 15-month engagement, we finally made it to Vegas and were married. 

And it was perfect.

But it wasn't easy.
Despite my insane level of planning, the 3 days leading up to the wedding were less than perfect.  They were stressful, and emotional, and a lot of things did not go according to plan.  The low point hit at 24 hours prior to the ceremony, when we were facing the possibility of not even having the reception we had planned for the past ten months.  After three days of stress, that was news I just did not know how to handle. But luckily, I was blessed by people who did know how to handle it...and now I would like to say Thank You.

To our wedding guests:
Not only did you all get time off work and spend lots of money to travel to Las Vegas to be there, but you also changed plans once you were there, offered up favors left and right, and did everything you could to help deal with the hectic situations we were faced with.  People made and answered calls, dealt with vendors, took care of Ryan, dealt with my crazy instructions, spun napkins, made dozens of cupcakes, transported stuff, and drove all around Vegas for us. My amazing bridesmaids hugged me, dried my tears, wiped dirt off my dress, made me eat food, and made me laugh constantly.  Pete's two awesome groomsmen helped keep him calm, dealt with putting a 4-year-old in a tux, and made way too many trips between hotel rooms. Without Becky, Nathan, Angela, Mary Jo, Nico, Ryan, Ked, Rebekah, Rob, Pete's parents, and maybe even people I'm not aware of, we would not have even had a reception. And without the help of Brittany and her parents, our siblings/babysitters in Colorado, and those who graciously gifted us with honeymoon money, we would not have had the amazing honeymoon we had. 

Pete and I often feel very alone in our daily lives in Arizona. We are far away from our families, finding a babysitter is close to impossible so we rarely spend time with friends, we never have help when Ryan, or the two of us, are sick, we planned our wedding (and completed the giant list of wedding projects) by ourselves, and neither one of us are people who like to ask for help or to depend on others.  Yet, when it came down to the wire of our wedding day, we were forced to rely on you, our family members and friends, even people we had literally just met, to help us do the things we could not do ourselves...and we were blown away by the amazing feelings of love and support that surrounded us. After our reception, at 3 AM, Pete and I returned to our empty suite. We sat down together and marveled at the day we had. Our wedding day was everything we wanted it to be. It was beautiful, personal and meaningful, and we were surrounded by the people we love.  But looking back on it, we knew that none of it would have turned out that way without the help of so many friends and family members who went out of their way to be there, and to help us create the wedding day we imagined. We both agreed that the best wedding gift we received was the realization that we are NOT alone, we are loved.  So, to everyone who gave us that gift, we thank you.

Love,
The M Family.