13 Months.

Yes, our wedding is 13 months away. I agree, this is a long time and I wish it were not so far away, but it is what it is for many reasons.

As I mentioned in my previos post, there are certain people in my family who are questioning why we have to wait so long, and when I give them the most obvious answer, which is that we need time to save money and plan the whole thing, they then question why we have to have an expensive wedding at all. "Why don't you just elope in Vegas?" "Why don't you just go to the courthouse?" My response to this now is, "why can't we celebrate one of the happiest and momentous occasions of our life with the people who are most important to us??" I don't believe there is anything wrong with that...and the only downside of it is the reality that, in our society, celebrating with family and friends = money. BUT, for the record, we are having a very small, intimate wedding which will cost about 1/4 the cost of the average American wedding.

So yes, our wedding is going to cost some money and it will take a collaboration of ourselves, our families and friends to make it happen...but this is just how the world works. Weddings cost money, food costs money, everything costs money. Yes, we could chuck all the plans out the window and run down to the courthouse without spending more than $60 for the marriage liscence. And for some people that is an excellent choice and fits them and their relationship very well. But not us. And this is why:

We see marriage as a very sacred, very important step in our lives. As everyone knows, Pete and I already live together. We already have a life and family together. Getting married will not change any of this. We are choosing to get married because we both value the importance and sacredness of making vows to each other that solidify our love and our family for the rest of our lives. And we both feel that those vows deserve to be witnessed by the people who love us. We have already made plans for our future together, we have already promised to love each other through thick and thin no matter what. But we feel that our promises of marriage deserve to be shouted to the world and celebrated. That is what weddings are all about.

I won't lie...I have questioned Pete several times in the midst of "wedding stress" if we should just elope. We have discussed it and considered it greatly. But every time, we come back to the same sentiments that I just wrote above. We don't want an overpriced meal, pointless flowers and an enoumous guest list that will forget about our cookie-cutter wedding a year later. We want a true celebration of our marriage, and that is worth every penny in our eyes (more to come about the celebration in the "Why Vegas?" post).

So why 13 months?
Well, why not?? I know many of my family members are uncomfortable or ashamed of teh fact that Pete and I live together without being married. But it's been reality for a long time, so what does it matter if it stays reality for one more year compared to the entire lifetime we have ahead of us as husband and wife? But aside for the "why not?" reasoning, let me give you some of the real reasons why we chose next May:
1. We have to have time to save money and plan the whole thing (yeah I already said that.)
2. We cannot get married before I file next year's FAFSA (in february), or else I will risk losing a huge chunk of my financial aid for my senior year of school due to the change in marital status and combined income.
3. I only have two breaks from school every year - spring break and summer break. Those are my ONLY options for getting married, and obviously this summer is not going to happen, and if we do it over spring break I would have no time for a honeymoon and would most likely be doing nothing but homework the day after our wedding. So that leaves May of 2011.


The last thing I would like to say, for certain people who are hopefully reading, is to pose a question: If this were my first marriage, would you be questioning why I want to have a wedding? Would you be questioning why I want to wear a beautiful dress, walk down the isle and live out the fantasy that I acted out a hundred times as a little girl in my dress-up clothes? I do not believe you would. So please, do not treat this any differently than you would if I had never been married before. You all know that, in the end, that marriage was not at all worth celebrating. But this is. THIS is the one, the ONLY one that matters. End of story.

So please, if you are one of the people who have asked why we are not just eloping, please stop asking, because you now have the answers. Please take the opportunity to celebrate with us as we look forward to the next 13 months. And take a moment to think of how special you are, because, apparently, we would not want to do this without you there. :)